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Just a reminder to myself that worrying is not self care. It’s not caring for others either. Worrying is crutch and a weird form of self soothing. Worrying is what you do when you believe the time for correct action is past. Worrying is what you do because you don’t know how to go backward in time. And then you realize going forward, if you can muster the strength and figure out how, is the only way to go backward. All correct action is going home.

Looking up and down this road
I've been here before
Can't be here no more
-Jackson Browne, ‘I’m Alive’

I’ve been saying one day I’d come back. Days turned into years. Losses piled up like they do when you get older. The piles ‘for mending’ got taller, not smaller. I am miles past that first loss, the one I was sure would kill me. How angry I became when my older, more experienced friend told me I would live.

But she was right. And she continues to be right.

But how do you get back up?

Same way you eat and elephant I guess. One bite at a time. No perfect day is coming. No perfect time.

I am here. I’m alive.

“those dreams are dead�

But I’m alive.

Love this, more crazy cat men photographed by New York photographer David Williams. Such a great idea.

You gotta love this, there are some women in here, too, but it looks like it was the men who were cat crazy.

What I can't figure out is how they were able to leave books and papers and stuff out, cuz I sure can't. They tear up everything.

Just last week I was tired when I got home from the market, and I left my fresh vegetables still in the plastic bags I carried them home in, on the kitchen floor, and took a nap

When I woke up and went in the kitchen my eggplants, broccoli, and carrots were everywhere. They had literally clawed and kicked at my eggplants like they were toys. They have scratch marks all over them.

They also stand over the stove while I am cooking, while I am doing dishes. They climb in every cabinet and door I open. They open my drawers and pull out my paint tubes. They pull all the stuff off I have pinned to the refrigerator and tear it to tiny pieces.

"Newark, Ohio, and Niagara Falls, NY are two cities with a few similarities and with many differences. The cities are so different it would be pointless to make comparisons, but for the fact that in January 2015 both cities found themselves beset by pit bull problems. The problems these two cities are currently confronting are echoed across the country; how they resolve these problems may be instructive for dozens of other cities in the near future."
- SRUV

Read more:

Sudden, Random, Unprovoked, and Violent: Pit Bulls in a Humane Society, Newark and Niagara

Sometimes people do evil because they mean to. Sometimes people do evil because they stumble. Either way the Orthodox Church teaches us they are sick.

That's why throwing the word evil around is risky business for us. The Church welcomes the sick.

We are taught to pray for people who are sick. We try to steer them back on the right path. We remember we stumble and are sick also.

However, we do not call sickness wellness, or wellness sickness. This also would be to stumble.

We live in that tension. Tension is what most people are trying to escape with the distractions of the world, with ideologies that settle everything for them and in fact become religions that trump even their Christianity.

In the mind of one stumbling, liberalism, and any -ism, will trump Christ. It must, because it bows to the idol of an ideology.

Christ is not an idea. The Truth is not an idea. Love is not an idea.

Love is someone. Love is Christ. Love is Christ in the incarnation.

It is liberalism and dog fighting that is responsible for the suffering of pit bulls, and has caused the need for BSL.

People believe it is hate that has caused the problem. People believe it is close mindedness that has caused the problem.

But it is not. Well meaning people and not so well meaning people who both stumble over the Truth, they have caused the problem.

The real victims are the innocent. Pit bulls and the victims of their sudden, random, unprovoked, and violent attacks are the innocent victims of these sick well meaning, and not so well meaning people.

There is nothing beautiful about ignorance. There is nothing beautiful about a dog whose gut has been ripped open by a pit bull and has been disembowelled. There is nothing beautiful about a child whose eyeball has been found clear across the room, who has been scalped, and lay dead in a pool of blood because of a pit bull.

But ideologies caused this. Even dog fighters did not cause this. They bred the dogs, yes. They selected for the genes, yes. They created the Frankenstein, yes, but they did not bring it into our homes and neighbourhoods where it could kill our children, our elderly, our trusting pets. Liberalism did that. Soccer moms and dads did that.

I believe in liberality, but I will never be a Liberal.

The truth always speaks for itself. Christ is no -ism. Love never ignores sickness. Christ never ignored the sick. Christ never ignored the truth.

The innocent are dying every day and people stand smugly behind their ideologies, ignore it is happening, and encourage more of it to happen. This is a sickness and we must pray for them and not stand silent.

Animals depend upon us to care for them. Animals depend upon us to make this world a safe place for them to live.

What Is Love In The Spiritual Life - The Law of the Spirit - Ancient Faith Radio

http://www.ancientfaith.com/video/lawofthespirit/what_is_love_in_the_spiritual_life#.VNY1FFKtF5I.link

I did this painting last year and I am just getting it up. I have so many different versions of it, on different color grounds, and at various stages of development.

I remember I had something in my mind when I drew this, some leitmotif, but I can't remember what it was. I wish I did. I am almost always working with a new idea in mind, trying something new. Even when I try not to do that, I end up doing it anyway. I can't contain myself --- what would happen if? It turns out that that is why I draw, for the sheer delight of discovery. To just make a picture with nothing else in mind but to use all I know and have learned to try and make the best picture I can just doesn't interest me. The dynamism of something alive and new that I can't label and don't understand interests me.

God is never the same. He's a person par excellence. . People are never the same, every day they are different. I don't want to freeze life. I want to be in the picture, alive in it, discovering, wondering, falling down and getting up, and learning. The visual of living interests me, not executing.

Well, if I feel the need to answer that question it indicates some sensitivity to begin with.

People who know me would understand right away, but when you are presenting and selling your artwork amongst a sea of artists who don't know you, and many of whom think they already know it all, it becomes a sensitive subject.

And thinking we already know it all, really is part of my subject matter, as much are cats and composition and color and jagged lines and crude geo-organic shapes, and this exactly is what I mean by content. My paintings are not just about cats, and the savvy and the pure will get this immediately. The worldly wise and the impure will not.

On the other hand, if you really don't understand, I could go on a long time about it because the why interests me, too. The why is at the core of something very basic to my soul, which is, a certain basicness, and it is in the pudding of what I believe good art should be.

Am I saying good art should be MSPaint? No. But what I am saying is that good art understands the connection between media and content. Saying what you are saying in a way that compliments the what of what you are saying. Good writers know this. All the great artists I admire know this, or it comes naturally to them, which gets back to sensibility, which I am always harping on, and which I also think is essential in good art, even more importantly in great art. It's even nicer in life.

There is a connection between media and subject and when you can identify it and the two become so intertwined they become married and identify with one another, it's a great accomplishment indeed. That's the challenge, no matter the media. There is a connection between how you make something within your chosen media and the style that emerges and what you have to say in general.

This is the jumping off point. After you have studied, whether you are self taught or you have been educated in art, it doesn't really matter, at some point you will have learned enough to want to stop studying as a full time endeavour and start using what you have learned to say something deep within your heart, that is, you will be ready to jump off, make the leap, try to marry your skills with meaning and subject.

But it is hard to explain, to put into words, which is why I guess some of us paint things we can't say. Still, though, challenging it is to try, and I love a good challenge. Especially when people think it is beneath them.

And that is part of it too. I love retrieving what people think is beneath them. Picking up the thing they think is not worthy of them. I hope to express my faith in humility with this, not my own, certainly, because humility is a great virtue I don't possess. But I believe it is deeply connected to beauty, and I believe in it, and it is something I work toward, and want to possess.

Does that mean I think one must draw crudely to express humility? No, but it is one way, and a way that appeals to me.

MSPaint is a simple and basic program even a child could use, but I don't think anyone with a huge ego would or could pick it up as a permanent media, because of the fear they might be immediately dismissed by the others they want to impress, which is where the wisdom of using it comes in for me. I don't want to impress people, and I don't want people who want or need to be impressed as my audience. That's important to me. It mirrors my faith, where we are instructed to be as innocent as doves and as wise as serpents, where we are encouraged to care more what God thinks than what people think.

People who want to be impressed and to impress will not spread my message or get anything out of it. But for those struggling with it, I hope it is an encouragement.

Purity, simplicity, basicness, and yet, the depth of true beauty to explore, free to anyone, like the Gospel. I find this all in MSPaint.

We as artists really need to be able to say it all with whatever is available to us. Whether it is a complex studio or a piece of charcoal and a rock we have before us, to be able to say the truth about beauty still, is the challenge. Pretty is not the same as beautiful. Pretty would not describe my crucified Lord. But beautiful would, and there is nothing deeper I have discovered than this understanding of beauty to explore. There is also nothing more simple. It is, for me, the Pearl of Great Price.

Now I hope I don't sound like a know it all or didactic. But I have been doing this a long time, searching for that elusive thing I have found in all the artworks I love. It has been a life's work, so I do hope at this point I have something to say about it, and that I have some right now to speak with some conviction about it, without being obnoxious. I do hope this very much.

When I was young and used to dance, a crank caller, perhaps a pervert, yes, probably that, called up the dance studio where I studied, and one of the older girls picked up the phone. She was a natural. She was quite accomplished as well. He asked her if she had nice legs. I will never forget how surprised I was at her answer. So much so I have remembered it all these years. She said, "I hope so. I am a dancer."

Why MSPaint? I guess in the end the message I hope to get across is that beauty and truth are not exclusive. They are a part of and available to all of us to share in. Whether you are wise or whether you are simple, the truth, if it is not available to all of us, if its love excludes anyone, is not the truth. It's us who reject the truth, not the truth who reject us. We are not closed out, we close ourselves out.

There are other practical reasons I use MSPaint and why I choose this digital medium over finger painting or a pencil and paper, because those can be simple mediums, too. For one, all the cats in my house, for another cost of materials. But also because digital mediums are current, and yet MSPaint is one of the oldest and outdated. That's good for me. It's just when we are throwing something out that it peaks my interest and has my full attention. We live in a digital age. In order to make sense of simplicity in the current context, and make an impact, which I would like to do, I think showing we can still have this simplicity and explore this essence of beauty with something already thrown aside in this fast changing digital age is important, and also becomes part of the content of my work. Crudely though it might be understood now. The truth sails through the centuries. It toots its quiet horn no matter the era, and sometimes it even tears history in two. Truth is regenerative. It cannot die, no matter how much we turn our back on it or deny it or how complex we make our daily lives.

So I have touched on a lot of things. I can't say it all here, or I will lose your attention, and I have cats to tend to. I will instead revisit the subject hopefully in the future. But it is an interesting subject for me, and I am glad someone brought it up in the forum.

I just received this news on Facebook. It's the best news I could ever get. I feel like I can die in peace now. People are going to carry on after we are gone, and do good deeds for the animals, and teach the world about good stewardship. I have always felt like the Ancient Church, my Church, was the place to start. I am so happy the Cyprus Voice for Animals made that start. This needs to happen in Greece, in Romania, in Russia, in Serbia, in all old Orthodox countries.

"Ánnouncement
Church of Cyprus And Animal Cruelty On July 27, 2014, CVA President Mary Anastasi, Secretary Stella Stylianou and spokesman Mr. Dinos Agiomammitis, visited Bishop Isaiah at the Bishopric of Tamasou and Pera Orinis. Accompanying us was Mrs. Christina Nellist who arranged the meeting and who has been striving for animal protection for many years. Fearing the possible reluctance of the Church to tackle matters concerning animal welfare, a subject that is not popular and many times unpleasant, we were doubtful that this visit would prove otherwise. It was indeed a great and wonderful surprise to hear Bishop Isaiah’s affirmation that animals are part of God’s creation and that any cruelty or abuse to animals is a sin. We particularly welcomed the news that the status of an animal's souls has nothing to do with the way they should be treated which is will love and compassion. We left the meeting with the best impressions and hopes that the Church will finally embrace animals. We were asked to write a letter to the Holy Synod, explaining the current animal welfare problems and asked the Church to address the people on the subject of animal cruelty. On September 24, 2014 we received a letter from the Holy Synod, dated September 15, 2014, pledging that the Church of Cyprus will remind its Christian followers, of the proper way of treating animals! This news is indeed an historic and positive step and one we have all been striving to achieve. We believe that the involvement and guidance of the Church in matters of animal welfare and protection will, if the followers of Christ truly listen, bring desired changes in attitudes and to an end to unorthodox practices. We await with excitement to hear the so-long awaited announcement. We would like to thank Bishop Isaiah for his most warm welcome and of course his positive traditional views regarding animals and their welfare, as well as his willingness to present this subject to the Holy Synod. Of course we wholeheartedly thank Christina Nellist, theologian and presbytera, for her involvement in bringing clarity on the Church's teachings on this important subject. CYPRUS VOICE FOR ANIMALS"

Yippee!

"For the first time, young artists voluntarily want to start on the second market," he said referring to auctions, as opposed to galleries, which are known in the art world as the first market.

"It's a real revolution. The two markets are in the process of merging."

I drew this this morning and it went through many changes throughout the day. I got the idea from a message a friend sent me. It had to do with string theory and there was a picture of a kitten with a string, which I thought was pretty funny. I think the video about string theory stuck in my mind, because the idea of other unknown, undiscovered dimensions interests me, especially as an Orthodox Christian. I had a close friend who loved quantum physics and had a good mind for grasping it and he used to talk about it a lot, but it had been awhile since I had thought about it.

I like to think about these kinds of things when I draw, because although my main interests and inspirations have always been line and color, I am still fascinated by shape, space, and mass, probably the same way a bird might be fascinated by an airplane. We do something similar, but very differently and for very different reasons. But I will never be an airplane, and an airplane will never be a bird.

So I thought a lot about how mass affects space when I originally drew this, but true to form, after I had my fun with that, the picture started taking over, and making its own rules, leading the way to its own conclusion. It's too early for me to tell how much of my original questionings are left here, but certainly the contemplation of string theory was the seed, fertilized by a cat laying on the back of my sofa, in the morning sunlight.

I painted this a month or so ago, and just uploaded it. I have many pictures in my files I haven't uploaded yet. Usually if they are compositions I am still studying, I let them brew for a while in the files, until I know better what I think of them. I am always trying something new, so that's not the reason, but it's the trying something new coupled with something else hard to describe that makes me want to sit on them a while. In this case the content of a cat portrait mixed with an interior and an idea of a task brought in new elements. I think more than any of my cat portraits this is most similar to a piece I did a while back call "Arranging Flowers" which also involved the idea of a task.



I don't like to represent things too literally because I feel that is visually heavy handed. I am searching for something not quite poetic, not quite lyrical, but otherworldly and maybe literal in a different sense. As I said, it is hard to describe. I want it to be personal, intimate, and questioning and a bit challenging for the viewer. I want it to be hard edged in design, but not hard edged in story. How do you make something visually explanatory without being literal? I think you have to enter a parallel reality. Maybe it is a bit like creating a language, and I myself am still learning it - from myself, and yet I hear it in the distance and I try to speak what I hear, as if it is already out there somewhere. At the same time I am trying, I hope subtly, to teach it. So, I keep these pictures in my files for a while, and I think about them.

I drew this this morning and I am really happy with it. Swatchee was my model. He was sleeping on the floor in front of me. I worked from life and then began slowly abstracting it. I think I am happy with it visually, as it is enough to carry me there, back to that moment, and yet it goes beyond that to make feel something true, something about me, something about life, that is very hard to express. It's the something the world competes with, drowns out, steps over and on, and yet here it is, shining brightly, telling its truth. This means something to me.



Today has been a difficult day, but when I look back on how I spent this portion of the morning, I feel good about it. Sometimes you are caught up in the troubles of others, and you cannot help them, and you feel like you are losing who you are. It is important then to do something to help you remember who you are.

Created as a mate for my piece 'Andras', Gynaika is a modern classical primitive portrait of a young female, drawing stylistically on Greek Art, History, and Culture. It's a simple line drawing in black and white, minimalistic, with just a little color used for emphasis and decorative effect. I am surprised at the popularity of this series. I am not sure what inspired it, but I realize now it was inspired.

I found a new way to express myself with these drawings, as I started my career with people portraits, but disliked the specificity of the genre, and was not happy with the pressures of doing commissions. I turned to self portraits over the years to experiment with something closer to what I wanted to do, closer to what I actually liked. When I look at portraiture throughout art history, I can point to a common thread in the artworks I admire. With these pieces, Andras and Gynaika, along with some others, I have gotten closer to what I want, and, like to see, in portraits: a universality, a simplicity, a modern viewpoint, and an iconic presence.



I did not work very closely with Andras when I drew this, but I did make a few references to it. It is difficult for me to stay interested in duplicating something that has been successful, because I am more motivated in wanting to know, than I am interested in success I suppose. Once I start drawing, no matter my intention when I sit down, my interest in what I don't know takes over, and I follow it to its end. If I had to work any other way I would choose a different profession. It's also why I stopped doing commissions. People have expectations, and I have none, only my interest and my quest to understand. The piece I hope speaks to both those things, and becomes part of the content. Which begs the question, is it still a just a portrait? I hope not. I hope it is much more than that. I hope it is a drawing. I hope it is a composition. I hope it shows deliberation and design. I hope it is content rich, but not in an illustrative sense. I hope it shows the years and years of experience of my drawing. I hope it references all the artists who inspired me. I hope it is universal in scope. I hope it is iconic.

This is a portrait in development. I have saved many copies along the way, as I am experimenting and want to see how it unfolds. I don't have a particular result in mind when I work like this and am quite open to the results. I often work intuitively, but this can mean many things, and the styles can end up very differently. I am always interested in the mystery of a painting's development, but with a great measure of respect. Sometimes to see something new, you have to do something new, and this means not resting on a concept, but swimming out to sea.

This was created to be a companion piece to 'Andras Black and White'. It's a simple modern abstract black and white drawing based on elements of Greek Classicism. I don't use a model for these drawings, but I do have a person in mind when I draw them. The point is not to get to specific, to stay universal and just focus on the qualities I consider to be specific to 'woman', which is what gynaika means in Greek.

I painted this in 2012. I pulled it up today noticing I didn't have many keywords for it, or a description, so it wasn't getting found. I still love this piece. It was spontaneous, driven by a giant affection I developed for a cat named Bette Davis and her two kittens, Theo and Minnow. All three cats are gone now, but the memories stay with me. MInnow had a liver disorder. Brother Theo developed diabetes. Mom Bette disappeared and I suspect foul play. Par for the course in Cyprus where cats are poisoned and used for target practice by the hunters.



But this is a happy painting, and happy my memories of Mother Bette and all her friends remain. I love the stained glass mosaic effect this painting creates at a distance. I love the multi-colors. But mostly I love that it is my memory of time well spent.

This piece started as a drawing of a cat in a window. I was looking at Dusty who was sitting in the kitchen window. I drew her silhouette. Then I began to abstract and draw the shutters and they started to look like notebook paper. I thought about how long it had been since I had written on notebook paper. I thought about had sad it is we don't write messages to each other like this anymore, and how much I miss them. Instead we get texts.

Then my mind wandered to relationships, to how they change as we get older. I remembered the stress of being young and how every little nuance of a changing relationship was cause for alarm. I thought about how as I have gotten older, change seems more like an opportunity to find out more about myself. I thought about the hard earned calm I have found. I feel so lucky to have found what makes me happy in life, how simple it all was, and yet it took so long to see.

If we can find peace and not strive for it, we will see that we always carry others with us, and we go on in relationship with them no matter where they are, or how long they have been gone.

Dusty writes a letter to Joe. Joe may as well have been me a long time ago. Cats have a wonderful way of living in the present.

Someone offered to publish Christian Artwork on a Christian Art blog yesterday. I jumped at the chance. But I think they were confused when going through my portfolio. I already had a gallery of my crosses but I quickly made a up a Christian Gallery for them to go through. I realize why I had never made one up before. Everything I do is Christian Art, you just wouldn't know it by the subject matter. But my faith and the Orthodox world view is behind everything I do. I could no more separate it from me than I could pull out my eyeballs; nor would I want to. But do I paint traditional religious subject matter? Not very often. So far it hasn't been my calling. I don't think your subject matter has to be religious for you to make Christian Art or Sacred Art. It's the world view that comes through that makes it what it is. Often when I am browsing the art of others and I am drawn to something, I find out when I get more information that they are a Christian. It's hard to hide. There is a innocence and purity that often comes through, despite the subject matter being perhaps, say, a flower. There is a glaring absence of cynicism and anger, even when portraying dark subject matter. I might dissolve the gallery now that it served it's purpose. I don't know. I will think about it.

I always look for this quality in art, this spark. It is not made or recognized by knowledge, but by faith.

It makes me think of this passage from the Bible: For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness. 1 Corinthians 3:19

Here's an article from The Washington Post, that when you take with the Facebook Experiment revealed recently, is a bit troubling. I suspected voyeurism was a large part of Internet snooping and 'intercepted data" (a euphemism for juicy tidbits?), simply because of the human weakness for it. But to see it in print...I didn't think I would see that. It makes me wonder, as robots become a reality, is it just coincidental that human beings are becoming zombies? And for those teetering on the edge, or who have little memory of what it was like to be human, are these strange characters in the world who are still human the real spectacle? The real target of all this snooping? Is it a sad reaching of the fallen for a memory of what used to be in themselves? A strange curiosity? Are we now, if we are still human, still thinking, still feeling, still reaching up for God, the "other"?


In NSA-intercepted data, those not targeted far outnumber the foreigners who are


"Many other files, described as useless by the analysts but nonetheless retained, have a startlingly intimate, even voyeuristic quality. They tell stories of love and heartbreak, illicit sexual liaisons, mental-health crises, political and religious conversions, financial anxieties and disappointed hopes. The daily lives of more than 10,000 account holders who were not targeted are catalogued and recorded nevertheless." Read more...

...I love blogging (we used to call it writing), and I find it edifying, but it is time consuming. I am busier with the cats than I have ever been. I reached my free picture host limit on Blogger's Picassa long before I reached my free cat host limit....

Read more...Updates - What Happens in Vegas...

I was so happy when Cats in Need generously offered to sponsor the sterilization of 20 cats for me recently. Doing TNR and feeding cat colonies by yourself can not only be exhausting, it can be very expensive, so I was delighted and grateful when Cats in Need offered to help. It was a big help. And just in time, as several cats at my house were coming of age.

read more...http://alteredcats.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-20-cats-sponsored-by-cats-in-need.html

Great article in The Democrat and Chronicle:

"Building an Art Collection while Shopping Local"
by Melissa F. Pheterson

"If you buy art that you love without concern for how it will fit in your home's décor, you'll truly have a personalized collection with one-of-a-kind elements."

Basically the gist is, buy what you like. Now that's modern. Sort of like marrying who you like. It's a giant step forward toward personal freedom.

And I love this quote: "Art is how it makes you feel." - Louis Perticone, founder of Elizabeth Collection/ArtisanWorks

Read more:
http://www.democratandchronicle.com/story/lifestyle/her/2014/04/07/building-an-art-collection-while-shopping-local/7310285/

I really enjoyed this interview with Gabriela Cowperthwaite. I was very impressed with her gentleness and humility, and also her courage.

Thank you for your help!

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/creamy-goes-to-california-/127416

I want to say a big thank you to Sue and Jayne of Cats In Need Cyprus, a registered Charity in the Isle of Man, who have pledged to pay for the alteration of 20 of the cats I care for. I am over the moon for their kind offer to help. Without Cats in Need I could not have done the work that I have done in the past. They donated my traps, and have aided me with bills over the last three years, not to mention been a shoulder to cry on and lean on and vent, as I have not many people to talk to here.

Read more:

http://alteredcats.blogspot.com/2013/12/thank-you-cats-in-need-cyprus.html

I thought you might like to see what I take with me when I go to the feeding stations. I take a lot more with me than I used to.

Read more:
What I Take With Me to the Feeding Stations

Clinton is a cat who came from the Sandra's feeding station. I now mostly see him at the park. He is a mild Tomcat who has had a bad respiratory infection since I have known him. I suspect he may be sicker than that. On Thursday when I went to try and trap Wanda and failed again, I decided it was a good time to get Clinton. If he is sick I do not want him fighting with the other males at the park, and I also wanted to get him some relief if I could.


Read more:
Trapping, Altering, and Releasing Clinton

It was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow who said, "Into each life some rain must fall." At my age, I understand this, but how do I explain it to the new kittens? And all the cats at the feeding stations?

Read more:

http://alteredcats.blogspot.com/2013/09/kitty-rigging-for-rain.html

When you are safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you're having an adventure, you wish you were safe at home.
-Thornton Wilder


That can't be truer than of cats! Personally, I am done with adventures in my own life. Waking up every day is only adventure I need. But I do wish the cats would give them up, too!

read more:

http://alteredcats.blogspot.com/2013/09/collars-for-cats.html

It's not being abandoned that is my worst nightmare, it's the fear of being the abandoner, of letting someone down, though I imagine that has it's origins in fear of abandonment.

Read more here:

The English Patient

One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming home.
- Pam Brown

read more...
When I Come Home

Recently on the forum the subject came up again and advice was given on how to make a good, saleable portfolio. Artists were urged to only include what they think will sell, and to tighten it up, to clean it up. While I appreciate the desire to be helpful of those giving the advice, I can't think like that.

I do my thinking when I walk my dog, because it is about the only time, aside from driving my automobile, I don't have cats crawling all over me, and because when they are, I am only thinking only how do I keep them from knocking over my coffee, pulling keys off my computer, getting in the cabinet I am opening, etc.?

But here's the thing, I have sold images on FAA I never dreamed anyone would ever understand, much less buy. These are images I love but I didn't think anyone else would. Some I almost didn't upload, some I almost took down. I suppose out of intimidation, our of a fear people would assume I don't know what I am doing. But I stood by them and exposed myself to possible ridicule, disdain, misinterpretation, and worst of all, dismissal.

And what I realized when walking Muji yesterday was this, good artists try to appeal to current tastes, great artists shape tomorrows tastes. I want to be a great artist. I want to be an artist that shapes tomorrow's tastes.

Though I am frought with the anxieties and insecurities of any artist trying to do something new, especially presenting in front of a bunch of obnoxiously self assertive and arrogant (know it all) artists who seek only to create more of the status quo - comfortable art that appeals to current tastes, I stand by my work. I believe in it.

You can only say so much about this in the forum though without making yourself a target. ;)

To anyone who reads this post and was one of those people I may never know who bought one of these pieces, who took a chance on what I see, on how I see the world, or perhaps you even see for yourself with your own eyes and we share some kind of soul, thank you. It's the best feeling in the world. I do know what I am doing and why I am doing it, even though everyone may not like or understand what I am doing and why I am doing it. I stand by me. And I hope you feel like I stand by you, too.

Sometimes you have to stick your neck out for what you believe to be the truth. There is no better friend than the truth which is constantly sticking its neck out for us.

Great article

Animal rescuers: burnout
by Gila Todd

'Home is the place where, when you have to go there, They have to take you in.'

'I should have called it Something you somehow haven't to deserve.'

-- Robert Frost, from The Death of the Hired Man


'Theo' was short for Theodorus. Theodorus is an old Greek name meaning "gift of god" - from the Greek words, èåïò (Theos) "God", and äùñïí (doron) "gift".

continue reading http://alteredcats.blogspot.com/2013/09/something-you-somehow-havent-to-deserve.html

I don't like work that is too polished or too finished, or work that tries to impress itself upon me by skill. It is tedious to look at. I like to see the artist struggling with the truth, like Jacob wrestling with the angel. And I like when they leave room for me to enter the painting to figure it out. Whose understanding is so great they are going to define beauty for me with a painting? It always turns out laborious. You can't define beauty. It simply is. Beauty, if we are willing, and we get down low enough, will by the grace of God visit and define us.

http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles/MuggeridgeLiberal.php

"They say, moreover, that when it's a question of choosing whether to save your soul or your body, the man who chooses to save his soul gathers strength thereby to go on living, whereas the man who chooses to save his body at the expense of his soul loses both body and soul."

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If there is no God, everything is permitted.
--Fyodor Dostoevsky

If you were to destroy the belief in immortality in mankind, not only love but every living force on which the continuation of all life in the world depended, would dry up at once.
--Fyodor Dostoevsky

The wayfarer, by Stephen Crane

The wayfarer,
Perceiving the pathway to truth,
Was struck with astonishment.
It was thickly grown with weeds.
"Ha," he said,
"I see that none has passed here
In a long time."
Later he saw that each weed
Was a singular knife.
"Well," he mumbled at last,
"Doubtless there are other roads."

Heartbreak - Losing Theo, Losing Purpose

"“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ..."
Matthew 25:31-46

Theo passed away early yesterday morning, about 4:15 AM. I was up with him all night.

Read more: http://alteredcats.blogspot.com/2013/06/heartbreak-losing-theo-losing-purpose.html

"Besides being complicated, reality, in my experience, is usually odd. It is not neat, not obvious, not what you expect." — C.S. Lewis


Yesterday morning I was drivng to the feeding stations when I saw something in the road just in front of the park. There was a car ahead of me. I strained to see around the car. But the car steered around whatever it was, leaving me an open view. It was a cat.

I pulled over to take the cat out of the road and held my breath until I was close enough to see who it was. It was Pookie. She was dead. She must have been hit hours before.

I moved her out of the road and looked around in the open field for her kittens. That's where she was headed when she was hit. She had her litter a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't find them. Pookie was coming up on 1 year old. I have been feeding her since she was a kitten.

Read more here: http://alteredcats.blogspot.com/2013/04/heartbreak-losing-pookie-to-reality.html